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Offline (the 08/25/2014 at 7:49am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7982
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tequilamockngbrd : Blah.



Have a great day. :D

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Visits<b>apple97</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 3:57pm<b>TisButAScratch</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 3:33pm<b>sylverstar</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:25pm<b>kaylocca</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 8:45am<b>pear_flavored</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:57pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 4:50am<b>jamaarlove</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:53am<b>sarika</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:05am<b>SleepyPharma</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 5:04am<b>itsalie</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 11:34pm<b>LeenYa</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:05pm<b>blackneko</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:10pm<b>theBandit68</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 2:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:06am<b>TheDvsOne</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 10:49am<b>Wutdafuqq</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 7:06pm<b>IAmZim</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:15am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:58pm

Fucked!<b>blackneko</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 10:10pm<b>theBandit68</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 8:58am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 2:06pm

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Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

by Wrongdoor / 12/06/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

by JC / 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

by soupduped / 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

by wobbles / 12/04/2009 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a girl walking to class by herself. I thought she was weird for not having any friends to walk with. Thats when I realized I was eating lunch by myself. In my car. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML

by anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:55am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

by toastedguy / 12/01/2009 at 12:00am / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

by Lemonhead / 11/30/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

by IlikeGreenPlants / 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

by TinyDancer22 / 11/25/2009 at 11:57am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

by DBR / 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

by eyesightfail / 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

by WhyTheEff / 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous