Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Tequilamockngbrd

Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 7:26am) | Search for a member

Tequilamockngbrd

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4959
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Tequilamockngbrd : Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

Have a great day. :D

Tequilamockngbrd's page activity

Visits<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:55pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:09am<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 9:12am<b>why_God_why96</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:02am<b>FloridaGirl23</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Blade52560</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:22pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:34pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 5:27pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 3:41am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:28pm<b>girlrome</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 6:43am<b>amanimonster</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:37pm<b>maryiah</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 6:58pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 1:19am<b>pineapplefuck</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 9:31pm<b>julako</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:29pm<b>TunaFireStarter</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:40pm<b>No_tag</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 9:04pm

Tequilamockngbrd's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Tequilamockngbrd's badges

Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML

#19889661
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11661) - you deserved it (26343)

On 07/04/2012 at 5:04am - health - by magicman - United States

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

#19870376
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you deserved it (5051)

On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30544) - you deserved it (7408)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

#19455819
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (19191)

On 04/12/2012 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by CantPublish - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (14629)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (15409)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51606) - you deserved it (4047)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27433) - you deserved it (3130)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25466) - you deserved it (4291)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6152) - you deserved it (29650)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8277) - you deserved it (27480)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15419) - you deserved it (21204)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (12388)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7789) - you deserved it (34445)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: