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Tequilamockngbrd

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Tequilamockngbrd
  • Town/Country : Cincinnati, OH
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 May 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2818
  • Number of comments : 180
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Tequilamockngbrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (3959)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574 (359)

I agree, your life sucks (40682) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone in my class wrote 'erase me if you can' at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

#13815029 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (3461)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Petitprof (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

#6812281 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (2172)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by flurina (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML

#6812101 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (18262) - you deserved it (3036)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

#6787004 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (3850) - you deserved it (19675)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by sarabalism (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (5462) - you deserved it (18375)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (10554) - you deserved it (14325)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

#6692026 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (20894) - you deserved it (9045)

On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (4693) - you deserved it (22378)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I mailed out all my Christmas cards. As I was relaxing and being impressed with myself for being so organized this year, I saw the stack of Christmas cards on the coffee table. Everyone will be receiving an empty envelope for Christmas this year. FML

#6680637 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (6076) - you deserved it (22784)

On 12/09/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by ChristmasCardDork (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was taking a placement test for the new college I am going to. After the test and picking up a few numbers, I left with great pride. I opened the door and started walking out. I then realized that I had walked into the closet. FML

#6632044 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (6424) - you deserved it (15131)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by Wrongdoor (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (6063)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (9604) - you deserved it (22121)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)