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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Tenguin

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Tenguin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Tenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (52417)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (13896) - you deserved it (33088)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (6535) - you deserved it (68421)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (361)

I agree, your life sucks (70089) - you deserved it (14844)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

#4308181 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (60443)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (13309) - you deserved it (31464)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

#4251269 (259)

I agree, your life sucks (40261) - you deserved it (2343)

On 08/03/2009 at 7:45am - misc - by callerid (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (53040) - you deserved it (3802)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (42668) - you deserved it (15210)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you deserved it (40242)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said,"This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

#3692539 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (8854)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm - misc - by embarrassed (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

#3660807 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (43713) - you deserved it (1602)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (43825) - you deserved it (5866)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (42350) - you deserved it (16833)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

#3471774 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (6547) - you deserved it (29292)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:54am - love - by mrdave (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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