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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2053
  • Number of comments : 184
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Tempest559 : FML's cheer me up. I'm a specialized mechanic. My dog is the world to me. I enjoy the mountains more than the beach. I like to cook, camp, shoot, go to concerts and bla bla bla. I'm tired of listing shit on here already. Also I thought the douchy picture was a funny move. And no more douchy photo because of all the hating. And I brought it back again, let's see how many negative comments I'll get this time.

Tempest559's page activity

Visits<b>curseddragoon13</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 10:40pm<b>Blue_oreo</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 2:51pm<b>VioletLangdon</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 5:50am<b>tonysaldana</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 1:55pm<b>YaGirlAuntJemima</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 4:10pm<b>Ilovemusic237</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 3:17pm<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:32pm<b>Irene_19</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 7:45pm<b>cjl922</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 10:15am<b>elmerjudd</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:43am<b>anak36</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 10:32pm<b>californian21</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 12:22pm<b>getindoe69</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 10:11am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:02pm<b>ghostinthebarn</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 3:00pm<b>__doge__</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 4:25am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 8:45pm<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 9:45pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 2:44am<b>ucoolgirl31</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:10am<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 1:05am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:03am<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:49pm

Tempest559's FML badges


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Tempest559's badges

Tempest559's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

by SecondBest,IGuess / 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

by JacktheRussian / 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 4:08am / United States (Wyoming) / Intimacy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been in love with for the past two years. Five minutes in, he passed out on top of me from a pain pill overdose and had a mini seizure. He finally woke up and groans, "Those bastards! They confiscated my clothes!" FML

by Lucy / 07/21/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML

by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

by T3STI / 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Love

Today, I realised being the only female engineering student sucks. I have exactly one friend, because everyone else is too busy staring at my boobs to have a conversation. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2012 at 11:54am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

by ktinanic / 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:45am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

by Anon / 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm / United States / Love

Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML

by Chubby / 11/17/2011 at 11:50am / United States / Work