TehEpicBlack

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/14/2016 at 7:25am)

TehEpicBlack

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 February 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2307
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About TehEpicBlack : Well hello there! It seems you were offended by something I said or liked my picture so much you just had to click on it. I suppose this is where I'm expected to fill this box with a bunch of useless shit about myself that you don't give two fucks about! Since you insist, my name's Mason. I enjoy a wide variety of music, hookah, The Walking Dead, Battlefield, and debating controversial topics. While you're here, you can go ahead and send me a message. I promise I don't bite too hard :p

TehEpicBlack's page activity

Visits<b>Miss_Blaine</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 5:03pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:37pm<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:33am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:29pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:02am<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:37pm<b>flopstar</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:33am<b>_Breezie_</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 10:48am<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:23pm<b>luis30</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:00pm<b>xxxxnikkix</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:54am<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:02pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Bubshub</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:22pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:11am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:26am<b>willrich7</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:07am<b>goodaygirl</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:26pm

TehEpicBlack's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of TehEpicBlack's badges

TehEpicBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

by karmaquestionmark / 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

by mountains / 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

by bad samaritan / 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML