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TehEpicBlack

Offline (the 06/03/2015 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

TehEpicBlack

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 February 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1883
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About TehEpicBlack : Well hello there! It seems you were offended by something I said or liked my picture so much you just had to click on it. I suppose this is where I'm expected to fill this box with a bunch of useless shit about myself that you don't give two fucks about! Since you insist, my name's Mason. I enjoy a wide variety of music, hookah, The Walking Dead, Battlefield, and debating controversial topics. While you're here, you can go ahead and send me a message. I promise I don't bite too hard :p

TehEpicBlack's page activity

Visits<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 12:37pm<b>Miss_Blaine</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Agua2</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:33am<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:29pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:02am<b>kareniskaos</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:37pm<b>flopstar</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 11:33am<b>_Breezie_</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 10:48am<b>bloo_isanonymous</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:23pm<b>luis30</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:00pm<b>xxxxnikkix</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:54am<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 11:02pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Bubshub</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 5:22pm<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 7:11am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:26am<b>willrich7</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 1:07am<b>goodaygirl</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:26pm

TehEpicBlack's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of TehEpicBlack's badges

TehEpicBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (6773)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13307) - you deserved it (30305)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6612) - you deserved it (27168)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42375) - you deserved it (3727)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17938) - you deserved it (7185)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14328) - you deserved it (32975)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16177) - you deserved it (33291)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27811) - you deserved it (5317)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (1509)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29084) - you deserved it (1353)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32184) - you deserved it (6618)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34789) - you deserved it (2349)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML



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