About TehEpicBlack : Well hello there! It seems you were offended by something I said or liked my picture so much you just had to click on it. I suppose this is where I'm expected to fill this box with a bunch of useless shit about myself that you don't give two fucks about! Since you insist, my name's Mason. I enjoy a wide variety of music, hookah, The Walking Dead, Battlefield, and debating controversial topics. While you're here, you can go ahead and send me a message. I promise I don't bite too hard :p
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TehEpicBlack's favorite FMLs
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, after a very heartfelt conversation with my mother, I promised her that I'd quit smoking. I walked in on her smoking my cigarettes an hour later. Her excuse was that she didn't want my money to have gone to waste. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 7:46pm / United Kingdom / Health
by tingles / 01/19/2013 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Intimacy
by bull-stuff / 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
by Kallian / 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
by scaredofhedges / 01/07/2013 at 5:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML
by anonymous / 01/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Transportation
by WellShit / 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 10:44am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
- Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach… Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I… Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only…