Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TehEpicBlack

Offline (the 09/25/2014 at 3:45am) | Search for a member

TehEpicBlack

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 February 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 742
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 47 posted

About TehEpicBlack : Name's Mason. I go by Black Guy. :P
Raised in a small southern town.
No, I'm not an uneducated redneck.
I really don't give a damn if you don't approve of me, I'm not here to impress you.
I have very little faith left in the human race.
I hate people that can't spell for shit. If you can't say it right, then just shut the hell up. No need to make an ass of yourself on the Internet.
I love a good argument. Especially on really controversial topics like gay marriage or abortion.
Music is my life.
I fucking love drum & bass, electro house, and dubstep.
I guess you could say I'm a nerd...
Fuck that. I'm a HUGE nerd.
I don't take life that seriously, and I don't understand why so many people do. No one has ever made it out alive.
I'm an agnostic atheist, but I will respect your religion as long as you don't try to force it down my throat.
If you read all of that, then you deserve a medal.
If you want to compliment my sexiness or argue with anything I said, feel free to message me :)

TehEpicBlack's page activity

Visits<b>JoshArson</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 1:05pm<b>willrich7</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:08pm<b>fivetimeslonger</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Miss_Blaine</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:47am<b>josh2014</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 12:13am<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:46pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:46pm<b>thelittlemissy</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:25pm<b>odod777</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 1:21pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 3:27am<b>goodaygirl</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:27pm<b>actuallyahippo</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 7:54pm<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 12:42am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:51pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:52pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 10:28pm<b>flux_panic</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 3:22am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 11:27am

TehEpicBlack's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of TehEpicBlack's badges

TehEpicBlack's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML

#20431454
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (40145)

On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

#20430574
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37946) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (5058)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (6245)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (28049)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6148) - you deserved it (25788)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (7151)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13325) - you deserved it (31502)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14919) - you deserved it (31151)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27527) - you deserved it (5288)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

#20168543
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17906) - you deserved it (1445)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by mountains - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27986) - you deserved it (1271)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: