Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 09/25/2014 at 3:45am) | Search for a member
About TehEpicBlack : Name's Mason. I go by Black Guy. :P
Raised in a small southern town.
No, I'm not an uneducated redneck.
I really don't give a damn if you don't approve of me, I'm not here to impress you.
I have very little faith left in the human race.
I hate people that can't spell for shit. If you can't say it right, then just shut the hell up. No need to make an ass of yourself on the Internet.
I love a good argument. Especially on really controversial topics like gay marriage or abortion.
Music is my life.
I fucking love drum & bass, electro house, and dubstep.
I guess you could say I'm a nerd...
Fuck that. I'm a HUGE nerd.
I don't take life that seriously, and I don't understand why so many people do. No one has ever made it out alive.
I'm an agnostic atheist, but I will respect your religion as long as you don't try to force it down my throat.
If you read all of that, then you deserve a medal.
If you want to compliment my sexiness or argue with anything I said, feel free to message me :)
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML
Friday 17 October 2014