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Offline (the 11/15/2014 at 2:33am) | Search for a member
About TehEpicBlack : Name's Mason. I go by Black Guy. :P
Raised in a small southern town.
No, I'm not an uneducated redneck.
I have very little faith left in the human race.
I love a good argument. Especially on really controversial topics like gay marriage or abortion.
Music is my life.
I fucking love anything from Metallica to Knife Party.
I guess you could say I'm a nerd.
Fuck that. I'm a HUGE nerd.
I don't take life that seriously, and I don't understand why so many people do. No one has ever made it out alive.
If you read all of that, then you deserve a medal.
If you want to compliment my sexiness or argue with anything I said, feel free to message me :)
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Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML
Friday 21 November 2014