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TehCookieMonster

Offline (the 12/29/2013 at 1:40am) | Search for a member

TehCookieMonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1710
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's page activity

Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:45pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:55pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:40pm

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter tried to cover up her relapse into pyromania by explaining to me that the reason our carpet caught on fire was because a hot coal somehow worked its way free from the fireplace. Our fireplace is electric. FML

#20478067
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26160) - you deserved it (2159)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (3876)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32115) - you deserved it (5470)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (5151)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39611) - you deserved it (2674)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32501) - you deserved it (7520)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31462) - you deserved it (3231)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after an hour of crying over a guy I like, I put on some Adele and sang along. My mom quickly took notice and came to give me advice, which was to "get over it" because he doesn't want me, and that "masturbation beats relationships hands down." Gee, thanks mom. FML

#20469543
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (6635)

On 01/20/2013 at 1:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML

#20466086
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (3680)

On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (2116)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31316) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (4213)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46253) - you deserved it (5621)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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