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TehCookieMonster

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TehCookieMonster
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  • Number of visits : 439
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

#20447311
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13381) - you deserved it (82724)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:34am - misc - by maddiecat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16733) - you deserved it (4833)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (7105)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15600) - you deserved it (9733)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20641) - you deserved it (994)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27437) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (10325)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31427) - you deserved it (2928)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (7149)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28748) - you deserved it (5420)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML

#20436012
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42417) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:20am - intimacy - by ashbeat - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (9861)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

#20435361
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/01/2013 at 1:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

#20434659
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (5300) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version



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