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TehCookieMonster

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TehCookieMonster
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  • Number of visits : 437
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (8907)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (4178)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML

#6057828
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4053) - you deserved it (47130)

On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML

#6003671
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23776) - you deserved it (1641)

On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working drive thru and took a huge order. When the people pulled around to the window, they handed me a stack of coupons. None of the coupons were even related to what they ordered. They made me change their order to fit the coupons because they couldn't read. FML

#5380714
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (1868)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:38pm - work - by MEW (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

#4605529
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35656) - you deserved it (20584)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:16pm - work - by vmml97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43803) - you deserved it (6256)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

#3731184
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (7524)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

#3428912
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60968) - you deserved it (2219)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86633) - you deserved it (4658)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49197) - you deserved it (6978)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39546) - you deserved it (6436)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

#2422362
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42758) - you deserved it (3704)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by mraow123 (man) - United States

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

#2401782
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52998) - you deserved it (10175)

On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13244) - you deserved it (52658)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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