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TehCookieMonster

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TehCookieMonster
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I proudly presented my research project in class that I've worked for day and night for 3 weeks straight. My teacher fell asleep. FML

#18067100
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (2830)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:29pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML

#18061589
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12454) - you deserved it (42177)

On 10/24/2011 at 5:47am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I uploaded my latest picture onto a photography website. It only got one comment, and even that was from someone advising me to never use the same hideous model ever again. It was a self-portrait. FML

#18054599
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20371) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/23/2011 at 2:05pm - misc - by fuglyphotographer (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML

#18052733
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30938) - you deserved it (3870)

On 10/23/2011 at 8:38am - love - by mrs.nerd - United States

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

#18051286
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (18404)

On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

#18047257
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (36166)

On 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm - work - by Brony - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (16042) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

#18043699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16213) - you deserved it (46475)

On 10/22/2011 at 2:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I have an ear infection, and everything I hear echoes inside my head. I'm an orchestra teacher, and we have our first concert next week. FML

#18031007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24240) - you deserved it (1997)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:44pm - work - by dolceconfuoco (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (1944)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35040) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (42233)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML

#17812468
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22611) - you deserved it (3145)

On 09/23/2011 at 10:33am - health - by freezingggg - Reserved

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

#17743433
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6258) - you deserved it (43025)

On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)



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