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TehCookieMonster

Offline (the 12/29/2013 at 1:40am) | Search for a member

TehCookieMonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1719
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's page activity

Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:45pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:55pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:40pm

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (5468)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (3513)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42110) - you deserved it (5129)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10974) - you deserved it (87242)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

#18460733
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21174) - you deserved it (29083)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm - misc - by picklemonger - Canada

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (5298)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML

#18387979
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22708) - you deserved it (4968)

On 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (4940)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9521) - you deserved it (59049)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6370) - you deserved it (48201)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

#18362430
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (5356)

On 11/27/2011 at 1:02am - work - by Clumsy & Forgetful - Canada

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (3945)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21244) - you deserved it (3048)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)



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