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TehCookieMonster

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TehCookieMonster
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1211
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8247) - you deserved it (53534)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5617) - you deserved it (45232)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

#18362430
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (5079)

On 11/27/2011 at 1:02am - work - by Clumsy & Forgetful - Canada

Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML

#18360363
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (3850)

On 11/26/2011 at 9:33pm - misc - by Matthew - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (2949)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (2676)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25336) - you deserved it (3407)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

#18226728
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (6449)

On 11/12/2011 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (2880)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12033) - you deserved it (40750)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

#18070984
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21649) - you deserved it (18078)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:42am - love - by birgz (woman) -

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (2914)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

#18069219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (1303)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:30am - work - by fire1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored at my job as a receptionist that I actually got excited when the phone rang. FML

#18067160
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm - work - by anonymous - United States



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