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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15578) - you deserved it (51443)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (3389)
On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31095) - you deserved it (8146)
On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19616) - you deserved it (1833)
On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29641) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8923) - you deserved it (23300)
On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2342)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6151) - you deserved it (37815)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33365) - you deserved it (9146)
On 10/23/2010 at 9:15am - misc - by drunkfacebookuser (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (2213)
On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved
Today, I woke up to a broken window and 3 guys sitting in my living room watching TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27895) - you deserved it (1957)
On 10/11/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26178) - you deserved it (10549)
On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (2786)
On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend woke up wheezing terribly, aching, and sneezing. He's allergic to cats. I have 2 and they are my babies. He gave me an ultimatum, him or the cats. I haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him that I choose the cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15154) - you deserved it (45856)
On 07/15/2010 at 2:53am - love - by BambooLove (woman) - United States
Today, after about a month with no sex, my girlfriend told me to come up to her room and began kissing me passionately. She got me down to my underwear before informing me that she had Spanish homework left. To make things better, upon finishing up, she went straight to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (4774)
On 04/06/2010 at 3:10am - intimacy - by BluBaller (man) - United States (Oregon)
Monday 20 May 2013
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