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TehCookieMonster

Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 7:54am) | Search for a member

TehCookieMonster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1871
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's page activity

Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:45pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:55pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:40pm

TehCookieMonster's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (5621)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML

#19106281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (1662)

On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

#19105693
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21553) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/18/2012 at 5:07am - misc - by sleepless - United States

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I took my grandmother for a spin in my new car. Apparently, she had no idea that seat-warmers exist and that hers was turned on, because fifteen minutes into the ride she started shouting, "My ass is on fire!" causing me to swerve into a pole. FML

#19099160
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (6860)

On 02/17/2012 at 8:25am - misc - by BOOP - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML

#19092080
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11017) - you deserved it (27727)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9698) - you deserved it (73866)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML

#19043614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24444) - you deserved it (2581)

On 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm - misc - by rapper in training (man) - United States

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

#19042625
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8384) - you deserved it (24776)

On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7337) - you deserved it (24157)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (1921)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21490) - you deserved it (9635)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

#18939799
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24770) - you deserved it (3090)

On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

#18922050
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26544) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:35am - work - by Wendizzle (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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