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TehCookieMonster

Offline (the 12/29/2013 at 1:40am) | Search for a member

TehCookieMonster

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1648
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:45pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:55pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:40pm

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24191) - you deserved it (5386)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (4821)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

#18907023
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23650) - you deserved it (5750)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16140) - you deserved it (34364)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7220) - you deserved it (43803)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (1736)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27338) - you deserved it (22152)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31078) - you deserved it (3325)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, it's Friday the 13th. I've never been superstitious, and I figured it would be a normal day, that is until my hot water heater exploded and rained water into my downstairs neighbour's apartment for two hours before anyone noticed. FML

#18795817
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16985) - you deserved it (1420)

On 01/13/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

#18793525
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/13/2012 at 5:47am - intimacy - by doctorsandnurses (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23007) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

#18783134
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37904) - you deserved it (3320)

On 01/12/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
527 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (53354)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39056) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)



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