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Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, like always, my parents are such tightwads that they refused to turn the heating system on, despite the ball-freezing temperatures. I was so cold, I had to resort to warming my hands up over the toaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18900) - you deserved it (2464)
On 09/23/2011 at 10:33am - health - by freezingggg - Reserved
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5511) - you deserved it (33818)
On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (4761)
On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14684) - you deserved it (30776)
On 09/09/2011 at 12:04am - money - by Not_you17 - United States (Georgia)
Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24587) - you deserved it (2636)
On 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm - kids - by thatoneguy - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (7800)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22091) - you deserved it (7804)
On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (6257)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had to go to a birthday party for 10 year old triplets. They've all been dead for more than 9 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33038) - you deserved it (4528)
On 06/20/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21380) - you deserved it (10609)
On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -
Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38193) - you deserved it (4194)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26576) - you deserved it (5030)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (24916)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8666) - you deserved it (28710)
On 03/07/2011 at 11:17am - misc - by thenotsomanlyman - United States
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10786) - you deserved it (44807)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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