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TehCookieMonster

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TehCookieMonster
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1196
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23177) - you deserved it (1373)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20049) - you deserved it (9357)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

#18939799
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML

#18922050
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (2215)

On 01/27/2012 at 12:35am - work - by Wendizzle (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

#18916162
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26038) - you deserved it (4470)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:09pm - love - by soawkward - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

#18913819
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

#18912466
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

#18911929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22336) - you deserved it (5117)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by JMcKay (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

#18907383
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33846) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by wish.was.single (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drinking from a water bottle while in a lecture. The water caught in my throat and it felt like I was choking to death. Instead of asking me if I was okay or trying to help, the guy sitting next to me told me to shut up. FML

#18907023
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20202) - you deserved it (4571)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

#18872101
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

#18859925
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12662) - you deserved it (24589)

On 01/20/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by MyHeadHurts (man) - Ireland

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7180) - you deserved it (43615)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started my new job as a dishwasher, and was very excited since I've been broke for weeks. A few people dined and dashed, apparently for the first time in the restaurant's history. My boss is superstitious. She fired me. FML

#18834092
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25805) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/17/2012 at 11:08am - work - by broke - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (22098)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)



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