Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

TehCookieMonster

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

TehCookieMonster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1797
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

TehCookieMonster's page activity

Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:45pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:55pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:40pm

TehCookieMonster's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of TehCookieMonster's badges

TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

#19449472
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13885) - you deserved it (36235)

On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

#19382117
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (1965)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by freakofnature (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19647) - you deserved it (3361)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

#19316785
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (4477)

On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (1674)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

#19308008
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (7047)

On 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm - kids - by Evelyn - United States

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML

#19301849
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10318) - you deserved it (53677)

On 03/18/2012 at 4:46pm - misc - by waitwhat (man) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (11875)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (6702)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (31490)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7009) - you deserved it (33168)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23152) - you deserved it (52911)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

#19246597
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24290) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14381) - you deserved it (49920)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: