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TehCookieMonster

Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 7:54am) | Search for a member

TehCookieMonster

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2457
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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TehCookieMonster's page activity

Visits<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:24pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:45pm<b>GentlemanBastard</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 8:55pm<b>alicespoons</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 4:16pm<b>Ashamed_Sister</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:59pm<b>LoveMeDontHateMe</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 1:40pm

TehCookieMonster's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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See all of TehCookieMonster's badges

TehCookieMonster's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

#21235038
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36284) - you deserved it (4455) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm - love - by Fennec (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (12872)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I went on a date with an extremely cute girl. About 30 minutes in, she excused herself to the restroom. I waited for about 20 minutes, then I got up and left. About 10 minutes later, she called asking where I was. FML

Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML

#21211411
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51378) - you deserved it (4207)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:51pm - misc - by Is that..? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (10294)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

#21207207
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44485) - you deserved it (15631)

On 07/12/2014 at 5:11pm - work - by Workhorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

#21207158
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42458) - you deserved it (7015)

On 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55803) - you deserved it (10981)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43750) - you deserved it (3084)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44383) - you deserved it (3465)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51040) - you deserved it (4889)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41624) - you deserved it (17434)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51752) - you deserved it (6630)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML



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