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TeenieAmerica's favorite FMLs
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ugh annoying / 07/01/2011 at 3:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by ugly / 06/26/2011 at 3:02am / United States / Kids
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by grant b / 06/09/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Work
by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet / 06/03/2011 at 4:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
by satisfied88 / 06/02/2011 at 10:49am / Intimacy
Today, I finally found out what that weird smell in my apartment was. My ex-boyfriend had been breaking into my apartment and hiding rotting fruit all over the place. I found this out when a ceiling panel fell and a swarm of fruit flies attacked me. FML
by thiswouldonlyhappentome / 05/30/2011 at 8:33pm / Aruba / Animals
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
by diddlebuag / 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by FMLer / 05/27/2011 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Geek
Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML
by Alice / 05/27/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
- Today, I took a picture of my "privates" on my girlfriends cell phone and set it as her background… Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His… Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away.…