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TeenieAmerica

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TeenieAmerica
  • Town/Country : Asheville NC, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 July 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 7425
  • Number of comments : 216
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 16 posted

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TeenieAmerica's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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TeenieAmerica's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

#17744252
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (3752)

On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (4805)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (11094)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80460) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (18704)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10585) - you deserved it (39641)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

#17643019
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25714) - you deserved it (2683)

On 09/02/2011 at 8:47am - intimacy - by rochellamaya - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor declared his love for me via "the medium of interpretative dance." FML

#17641775
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/02/2011 at 2:54am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (9730)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (3313)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25840) - you deserved it (7515)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24330) - you deserved it (2339)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

#17558329
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8483) - you deserved it (43192)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13624) - you deserved it (47485)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30019) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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