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Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 11:42am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 October 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3817
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TdotMaria : So I've been around FML for a while just lurking in the shadows chuckling at others misfortune but don't get me wrong I've had a few FMLs myself... I've been bit by a squirrel and taken to A&E - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet and still have the craving for nuts.

On a side note I'm 22, from London and not a bad person so I wouldn't mind a message every now and then.

TdotMaria's page activity

Visits<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:44am<b>TheisM</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:27am<b>BrettB321</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:02am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:29am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:50pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:27pm<b>LEDZEPPALLTHEWAY</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:12pm<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:28pm<b>je83185</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:40pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:29am<b>JKROB</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:38am<b>Nate66</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:27am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:37pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:52pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:27am<b>MJD14</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:55am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:45am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:27pm<b>monsterman11</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:13pm<b>Chewbacon</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:02pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:49pm

TdotMaria's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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TdotMaria's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy

Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

by RevolutionLove / 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML

by emilygreeny / 06/18/2010 at 1:42am / United States / Health

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

by damncat / 12/08/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous