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Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51122) - you deserved it (9744)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21409) - you deserved it (4840)
On 10/29/2010 at 7:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (1826)
On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7824) - you deserved it (41700)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (47963)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that you should never, ever, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (38426)
On 06/18/2010 at 1:42am - health - by emilygreeny - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37351) - you deserved it (6279)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37351) - you deserved it (6279)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (6590)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24887) - you deserved it (5488)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got fed up with the amount of hair on my feet, so I went to get my foot hair waxed off. When I removed my socks, the waxer laughed the amount of foot hair. I'm a 18 year old female and it appears I have feet that were last seen on Big Foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18929) - you deserved it (3080)
On 12/21/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (20205)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6402) - you deserved it (36520)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15730) - you deserved it (34751)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10303) - you deserved it (43486)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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