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Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (16797)
On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42857) - you deserved it (6040)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (13487)
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26502) - you deserved it (13921)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66677) - you deserved it (16930)
On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (3280)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31347) - you deserved it (5109)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (5359)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31578) - you deserved it (18209)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend renamed all the contacts in my phone to see if I'd notice. Thanks to him, I've been sending dirty texts to my boss. The worst part is my boss was responding back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39252) - you deserved it (4210)
On 02/17/2011 at 1:37pm - intimacy - by fmylife117 - United States
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10772) - you deserved it (27385) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (21121) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31334) - you deserved it (2385)
On 01/11/2011 at 11:04pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (4221)
On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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