TdotMaria

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Offline (the 11/29/2014 at 11:42am)

TdotMaria

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3536
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TdotMaria : So I've been around FML for a while just lurking in the shadows chuckling at others misfortune but don't get me wrong I've had a few FMLs myself... I've been bit by a squirrel and taken to A&E - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet and still have the craving for nuts.

On a side note I'm 22, from London and not a bad person so I wouldn't mind a message every now and then.

TdotMaria's page activity

Visits<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:44am<b>TheisM</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:27am<b>BrettB321</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:02am<b>rareawesomeness</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:29am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:50pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:27pm<b>LEDZEPPALLTHEWAY</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:12pm<b>mrjiggles1992</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:28pm<b>je83185</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 9:40pm<b>DarkSaul</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 12:29am<b>JKROB</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 9:38am<b>Nate66</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 12:27am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:37pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 9:52pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 5:27am<b>MJD14</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:55am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:45am

Fucked!<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:27pm<b>monsterman11</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 8:13pm<b>Chewbacon</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 5:02pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:49pm

TdotMaria's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of TdotMaria's badges

TdotMaria's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter's hamster pulled the water bottle off the glass, so I decided to super-glue the bottle back on. We came back an hour later to see if it had stuck, only to find both the bottle and rodent glued to the glass. FML

by mommabuser / 07/01/2012 at 11:59am / Animals

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

by NoPrivacy / 04/26/2012 at 6:44am / United States / Work

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

by Buttscratcher / 03/03/2012 at 11:12am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

by pmony / 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

by beautifulme / 01/31/2012 at 1:22am / United States / Kids

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

by Dutchee / 01/23/2012 at 6:27am / Netherlands (Friesland) / Health

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

by Cathy / 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy