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TdotMaria

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TdotMaria

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 October 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1076
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TdotMaria : So I've been around FML for a while just lurking in the shadows chuckling at others misfortune but don't get me wrong I've had a few FMLs myself... I've been bit by a squirrel and taken to A&E - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet and still have the craving for nuts.

On a side note I'm 21, from London and not a bad person so I wouldn't mind a message every now and then.

TdotMaria's page activity

Visits<b>Goodliife</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Crofty92</b> - 23 hours ago<b>PCJJacket</b> - yesterday at 1:37am<b>Project71</b> - yesterday at 11:59pm<b>rockman808</b> - yesterday at 11:05pm<b>farleytb42</b> - yesterday at 10:48pm<b>inner_peace</b> - yesterday at 10:22pm<b>Austrand22</b> - yesterday at 10:04pm<b>RenoTheRhino</b> - yesterday at 5:36pm<b>JJ_86</b> - yesterday at 5:23pm<b>ex_omer</b> - yesterday at 2:52pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - yesterday at 11:23am<b>mpkpm</b> - yesterday at 11:16am<b>Dantheman9002</b> - yesterday at 10:42am<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - yesterday at 10:12am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - yesterday at 9:41am<b>moksha</b> - yesterday at 9:31am<b>mete_orito</b> - yesterday at 9:30am

Liked!<b>moksha</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 3:03pm

TdotMaria's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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TdotMaria's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32093) - you deserved it (3798)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

#19531197
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (27131)

On 04/26/2012 at 6:44am - work - by NoPrivacy (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13958) - you deserved it (33559)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10570) - you deserved it (24642)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

#18972343
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15283) - you deserved it (6451)

On 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm - misc - by pmony - United States (New York)

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (3992)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18571) - you deserved it (3057)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16739) - you deserved it (6471)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26827) - you deserved it (2770)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10421) - you deserved it (50885)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25224) - you deserved it (2036)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (5177)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47186) - you deserved it (3529)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13902) - you deserved it (49850)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada



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