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TdotMaria

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TdotMaria
  • Town/Country : London
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 776
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TdotMaria : So I've been around FML for a while just lurking in the shadows chuckling at others misfortune but don't get me wrong I've had a few FMLs myself... I've been bit by a squirrel and taken to A&E - but I'm not ready to talk about that yet and still have the craving for nuts.

On a side note I'm 21, from London and not a bad person so I wouldn't mind a message every now and then.

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TdotMaria's favorite FMLs

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

#18958302
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (3984)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:22am - kids - by beautifulme (woman) - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

#18933385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18473) - you deserved it (3050)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized the universal beauty that can be found in a pancake. I'm not sure if I have reached spiritual enlightenment, or if I should have my head examined. FML

#18888534
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14618) - you deserved it (6069)

On 01/23/2012 at 6:27am - health - by Dutchee - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26672) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10382) - you deserved it (50680)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was woken up early in the morning by the sound of my mother frantically crying out for help. Apparently she had tried, unsuccessfully, to "end the suffering" of an injured squirrel by drowning it in the toilet. How? By placing it into the bowl and smothering it with clothes. My clothes. FML

#18570075
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (2030)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46277) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13834) - you deserved it (49690)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (7677)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35202) - you deserved it (4878)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

#18159887
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12208) - you deserved it (31094)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (4831)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States

Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway. FML

#18069827
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (2914)

On 10/25/2011 at 1:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33116) - you deserved it (4701)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)



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