TattooInvasion

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Offline (the 07/31/2015 at 9:08am)

TattooInvasion

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 290
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About TattooInvasion : 19 ♥ Tattoo apprentice. Reading these cheers me up, my life ain't so bad. (:

TattooInvasion's page activity

Visits<b>Killswitchknot</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:34am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 1:18pm<b>Spencyy</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:16am<b>samrompain</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:35am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 10:55am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:26am<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:13pm<b>codyflanders2008</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 12:49am<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:50am<b>unluckybastard1</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:24am<b>brookiesawr</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 2:17am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:45pm<b>strawnelson</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 8:55pm<b>m22100</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 1:22am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 2:57pm<b>tallant_23</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:01pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:53pm<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 1:45am

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TattooInvasion's favorite FMLs

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

by fuck off, eh! / 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2014 at 10:40am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing an elderly gentleman up at work. As I went to package up the buns he ordered, he held up a hand and told me to wait. He then looked me in the eyes, started squeezing them, then winked and told me to go ahead. I've never felt so violated. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2014 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

by HungerStrike / 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm / Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj) / Health

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML

by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 6:56am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML

by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm / United Kingdom (Derry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

by KittyKat / 11/03/2013 at 9:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

by NykP / 10/02/2013 at 12:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Money

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