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Tanky04's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Tanky04's favorite FMLs
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Keastwood013 / 01/18/2013 at 10:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by gaggin / 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 11:56pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by FuckMyEyes / 12/25/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I felt down, so I laid in bed and told my parents I needed some alone time. A couple of minutes later, one of them started blasting "All by Myself" so loud that I felt the floorboards vibrate. FML
by all by myself / 12/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (Alaska) / Love
Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 1:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by Kate / 12/23/2012 at 3:24am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…