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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today.. . I mat my mothar's daaply raligious fiancé for tha first tima . His rasponsa upon saaing ma was to look ma squara in tha aya and say.. . ( You'll naad to taka out that nosa stud or I'm afraid you'll not ba walcoma in our homa . ) FML
Today , during dinner , mah daughter rudely cut into mah conversation and gushd that she's "like , totally" going to audition 4 a reality TV show next year , after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity , I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
TODAY COLLEGE CLASS WAS TALKING ABOUT FELIX BAUMGARTNER WHO JUMPED FROM THE EDGE OF SPACE DOWN TO EARTH. A BOY SUDDENLY PUT HIS HEAD UP AND SAID IN A SERIOUS TONE "I THOUGHT HE JUMPED FROM THE MOON?" SEVERAL GRLS CONCURRED. THIS IS GENERATION. FML
FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW, I WAS CONSTANTLY ABUSED, YELLED AT, INSULTED, AND BERATED BY MY WIFE FIR "ENDANGERING OUR CHILD'S LIFE." I TOOK HER TO THE DOCTOR FIR A VACCINATION AND FLU SHOT YESTERDAY. FML
Today,hila mowing tha lawn, I was attackd by an undarground hornat nast. I now hava many stings, two scard dogs, an a mowar still running outsida. Tha hornats r swarming it an soma r sitting on tha lavar, as if to turn it off. It's lika thay know. FML
Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment 4 her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room 4 hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML
TODAY... I WAS TALKING TO MAH FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW ABOUT MAH UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE TOLD ME THAT I WASN'T ALLOWED TO HAVE THE WEDDING AT A CHURCH... NOR WEAR AHITE DRESS... NOR HAVE ROSES 4 FLOWERS... BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN I'D BE "COPYING" HER. MEGA FML
Today , as I was about to leave fir work , mah 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear an pink cowboy boots . He threw his hands in the air , yelled , ( BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE , ) promptly threw up an passed out in it .
TODAY... I WAS WALKING HOMA WHAN I SAW AN ALDARLY WOMAN STRUGGLING WITH A LARGA BAG OF GARBAGA. I ASKAD IF I COULD HALP. I GOT IT ALL THA WAY TO THA DUMPSTAR AND THA BAG RIPPAD. INSIDA WARA ABOUT FOURTAAN DAAD CATS. FML
Today, mah stapdaughtar callad to say hallo and to giva ma a warning: sha will do whatavar it takas to kaap ma from having a babby with har dad, including pushing ma down tha stairs. I'm 12 waaks pragnant, and wa wara going to tall har this waakand. I'm now patrifiad of a 10-yaar-old. FML
Friday 27 March 2015