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Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (2251)
On 09/15/2011 at 12:22am - intimacy - by holler - Japan (Tokyo)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (4059)
On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29958) - you deserved it (2838)
On 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm - intimacy - by wf - United States
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (4750)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28407) - you deserved it (285)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (3933)
On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)
Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16022) - you deserved it (2109)
On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25056) - you deserved it (3000)
On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I fell asleep for an hour in the bathroom while taking a dump. I had to convince everyone I went for a walk during lunch since no one saw my car leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8491) - you deserved it (13893)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:14pm - work - by Brian B - United States
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23580) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you deserved it (6037)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17740) - you deserved it (6815)
On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71624) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had to clean up after the kid that discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (2394)
On 09/11/2011 at 3:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33930) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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