Syren201

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Syren201

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  • Number of visits : 2033
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Syren201's FML badges

Judgmental

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Syren201's favorite FMLs

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML

by good_gravy / 02/20/2012 at 2:39pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, while babysitting, one of the boys fell on an exposed pipe and broke it. It spewed water five feet into the air, spread water across four rooms, and completely soaked another of the boys. Their parents had only left fifteen minutes before. FML

by CamoElla / 02/19/2012 at 12:49am / United States / Kids

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

by JohhnyKeroscene / 02/01/2012 at 7:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

by JMcKay / 01/25/2012 at 10:36pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my toaster scared me. Again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 11:33am / United Kingdom (Armagh) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals

Today, my entire family came over for thanksgiving. It went pretty well, only four family members got in a fist fight and only one cop car was called. FML

by guy / 11/24/2011 at 9:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

by TheFlickChick / 11/17/2011 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals