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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37189) - you deserved it (1822)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33269) - you deserved it (3453)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46714) - you deserved it (9499)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37107) - you deserved it (1046)
On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40550) - you deserved it (4403)
On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16348) - you deserved it (3588)
On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48502) - you deserved it (1983)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (5980)
On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15739) - you deserved it (3172)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26486) - you deserved it (27836)
On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9180) - you deserved it (17154)
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22809) - you deserved it (3290)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8253) - you deserved it (42308)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19265) - you deserved it (11692)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 17 June 2013
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