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Today, I was responsible for taking care of Hoppers, the rabbit belonging to my sons 3rd grade class. Tomorrow my son returns Hoppers so the next student can care for him. That won't be happening because Hoppers hopped out my 5th story window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you totally deserved it (8201)
On 04/18/2009 at 5:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you totally deserved it (222006)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomache area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you totally deserved it (35423)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States
Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you totally deserved it (44113)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157123) - you totally deserved it (5113)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (157422) - you totally deserved it (10525)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having sex with a girl I had just met. After about 5 minutes in, she said she had to go to the bathroom. So we stopped and she went to the bathroom. After waiting around 10 min, I decided to check if she was ok. The window was open. She was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75917) - you totally deserved it (21759)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:15pm - intimacy - by dfhgblsf (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14527) - you totally deserved it (46875)
On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to Itunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (158246) - you totally deserved it (4843)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49272) - you totally deserved it (15410)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12733) - you totally deserved it (237789)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - work - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you totally deserved it (3740)
On 02/25/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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