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SuperSugarBear44's FML badges
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SuperSugarBear44's favorite FMLs
Today, I decided to clean my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
by Shiva / 03/18/2014 at 4:46am / France (Poitou-Charentes) / Animals
by outthelabyrynth / 03/17/2014 at 3:41pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Work
by NotInTheRightPlace / 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by JustClaire95 / 03/17/2014 at 7:58am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by thanksdad / 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I went shopping for a wedding dress at a fancy store. The proprietor took one look at me, said they don't have any dresses large enough for me, and asked me to leave. No wonder my self-confidence is in the gutter. FML
by DarthVerona / 03/14/2014 at 4:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2014 at 12:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by CurtisWogan / 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 11:33am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 2:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
by littlefinger / 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML
by SpilledWater93 / 03/09/2014 at 11:07pm / Ireland (Wicklow) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they… Today, I finally had my tongue piercing heal up so I decided to try oral on my girl. Unfortunately,… Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he told me I was the love of his life. Afterwards,…