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50 favourites
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Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6322) - you deserved it (21252)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (1576)
On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16946) - you deserved it (4118)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16579) - you deserved it (2075)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (1978)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19238) - you deserved it (2959)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17555) - you deserved it (2585)
On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (2814)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (2814)
On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (1023)
On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States
Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14624) - you deserved it (35851)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (2910) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6330) - you deserved it (13048)
On 07/30/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by hoaloha - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the following two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (4682)
On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend came to a family barbecue. I guess my dad heard him talking about the "fun" we'd be having later, because over the following two hours, he tripped my boyfriend up on concrete, threw a beer can at him, and sprayed him full-force with a water hose. All "accidentally" of course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (4682)
On 07/06/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by :$ (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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