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SuperSugarBear44's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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SuperSugarBear44's favorite FMLs
Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML
by IceQueen / 01/31/2014 at 7:40pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy
Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML
by prochainefois / 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm / Intimacy
Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
by just the tip, though / 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Pooper scooper / 01/28/2014 at 3:22am / Guam / Animals
by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health
by mac / 01/27/2014 at 9:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm / Intimacy
by Estee1024 / 01/24/2014 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…