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Today, I had to stay after school to make up for a test. When I got outside, I saw my mom wasn't there to pick me up. I called her and she explained that there was an emergency. I walked six miles home to see that the emergency was that Ellen had Taylor Swift today and she couldn't miss it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (1996)
On 10/29/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (3729)
On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31691) - you deserved it (17421)
On 10/20/2009 at 8:44pm - kids - by Raiders4ever (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (2789)
On 10/19/2009 at 2:08am - work - by worldsbestjobgonebad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my 13 year old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31923) - you deserved it (6089)
On 10/18/2009 at 10:33pm - kids - by MGZ (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (36322)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (4430)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We where having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (5185)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by namhtor (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58453) - you deserved it (8019)
On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30274) - you deserved it (29530)
On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43252) - you deserved it (7007)
On 08/16/2009 at 3:05am - health - by irony (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (218)
On 08/16/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by Tiff676 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39448) - you deserved it (2781)
On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)
Today, I gave my girlfriend a small stun gun I bought for her. She mentioned how she thought it was ''cute'', though it probably wouldn't help if someone was after her. She then put the tazer to my chest. When I woke up, she told me how it was my fault, for buying it for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37139) - you deserved it (9749)
On 08/09/2009 at 10:13pm - health - by Ducati (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37575) - you deserved it (3644)
On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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