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SuperSugarBear44's favorite FMLs
by Anonytard / 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML
by hbbbs / 03/01/2014 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by loserr / 02/28/2014 at 12:13pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by FallCameEarly / 02/27/2014 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML
by fuckmeitsgettingworse / 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous
by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Sodapop40 / 02/22/2014 at 4:21pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm / United States (California) / Health
by coppervains / 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML
by Cuntface McGee / 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm / Romania (Cluj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
- Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2… Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent… Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless…
- Today, I saved up enough money to get my phone fixed because the screen had broke. Excited leaving… Today, I had to say goodbye to my long distance boyfriend at the airport. I was feeling upset after… Today, I decided to try a new brand of Wax Strips. Shortly after testing one strip on my arm I took…