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SuperSugarBear44's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
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SuperSugarBear44's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a music duet in front of a crowd and 3 judges. I play tuba and my partner plays the saxophone. He burst out laughing in the middle of it because one note that I played sounded like a fart. FML
by some band player / 03/09/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Seriously? / 03/09/2014 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML
by Anonymous / 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML
by gracehi / 03/07/2014 at 3:29pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Silver_Jet / 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML
by cubs44fan / 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek
Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML
by fuck you, jack / 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my driver's-side door was so frozen that the locking mechanism wouldn't move. My passenger-side door's lock worked, but the door itself wouldn't budge. The door handle on the other hand, budged quite well. It budged right off its hinges. FML
by Staying Home Today / 03/04/2014 at 7:25am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:30am / Miscellaneous
by adopted / 03/03/2014 at 10:55am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML
by kitty91 / 03/02/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous