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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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StreetSinger

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StreetSinger
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12809
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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StreetSinger's favorite FMLs

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (21003) - you deserved it (1478)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5383) - you deserved it (69166)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (52118) - you deserved it (11878)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

#4803979 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (2723)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47871) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (18279) - you deserved it (51889)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81757) - you deserved it (24058)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years told me she was pregnant. I started freaking out, so she put her arm around me and said, "Don't worry, it's not yours". FML

#3928051 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (53440) - you deserved it (3399)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

#3837360 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (36494) - you deserved it (4698)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:02pm - kids - by Divorcemenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (43784) - you deserved it (2186)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (56605) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (41995) - you deserved it (4237)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (50075) - you deserved it (2040)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (59636) - you deserved it (3346)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)