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StoneCold_

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StoneCold_

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 603
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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StoneCold_'s favorite FMLs

Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML

#18465565
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7951) - you deserved it (71813)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

#18461010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40957) - you deserved it (3330)

On 12/08/2011 at 3:41pm - money - by Dante178 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12997) - you deserved it (41240)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

#18443540
98 comments

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (39983)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

#18433688
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (8426)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (4981)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no he said "I figured." and giggled. FML

#18424721
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:04am - health - by memoryloss (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

#18421974
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30913) - you deserved it (4662)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:29pm - love - by drummahboi99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML

#18409313
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41954) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (3785)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (3129)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39255) - you deserved it (5522)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States



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