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StoneCold_

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StoneCold_

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 578
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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StoneCold_'s favorite FMLs

Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML

#18778131
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (4115)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML

#18765651
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13223) - you deserved it (49188)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31035) - you deserved it (5841)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

#18745926
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26964) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19916) - you deserved it (39166)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (4835)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you deserved it (5580)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31275) - you deserved it (3712)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

#18706154
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41233) - you deserved it (2605)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm - money - by Ilostsomuch (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

#18705736
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26649) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31679) - you deserved it (27383)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (7632)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12054) - you deserved it (32049)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29452) - you deserved it (7704)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML

#18663523
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10101) - you deserved it (34593)

On 12/31/2011 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by mark - United States



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