About StaticDown : 20.
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My Dog and Cats.
About StaticDown : 20.
StaticDown's FML badges
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
StaticDown's favorite FMLs
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 6:44am / United States (Alabama) / Health
Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
by Araya / 11/17/2009 at 11:12am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
by proteinboy / 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (New York) / Health
Today, I finished installing a brand new engine in my old car. It cost just over $6000. Later, I was waiting at a red light and an uninsured drunk driver smashed into it head on. It's completely totaled. I got to drive it 5 miles. The car is worth $1000, even with a new engine. FML
by stupidoldcar / 11/15/2009 at 9:59pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML
by firefliiez / 11/15/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by TheMichaelNixon / 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Animals
by JJ / 11/13/2009 at 10:07pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love
by John / 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm / United States / Love
by Jack / 10/26/2009 at 2:32am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Needasafe1234 / 09/25/2009 at 11:24am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
by awkwardbf / 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy