StarWolf111

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Offline (the 10/31/2015 at 11:20pm)

StarWolf111

1Fucked!

StarWolf111
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 May 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13349
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About StarWolf111 : You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins

StarWolf111's page activity

Visits<b>billboob</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 9:57am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:42am<b>DaviSal00</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 8:46pm<b>BerzerkHD</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:56pm<b>sandormatyi</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 9:09am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 2:25am<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 4:00pm<b>jlmartin411</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 12:23pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 8:28pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:16pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:58am<b>squeamishacorn</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 6:06pm<b>razoray9</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:52am<b>hihello18</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:42pm<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:42am<b>mt631</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:49pm<b>becccers</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 5:06am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:27am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 3:42pm

StarWolf111's FML badges

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StarWolf111's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

by anon13 / 04/12/2009 at 12:27am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML

by masterdisaster / 04/11/2009 at 12:07am / United States (South Carolina) / Health

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

by anonymous / 04/09/2009 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:37am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML

by talkssuck / 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML

by superstar / 03/30/2009 at 2:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML

by Hotsauce887 / 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

by Spawn_of_Satan / 03/27/2009 at 11:18am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

by CaoNiMa / 03/26/2009 at 11:42am / China (Beijing) / Kids

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.