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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 May 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11612
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About StarWolf111 : You are the smell before rain, you are the blood in my veins

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StarWolf111's favorite FMLs

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (92282)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44533) - you deserved it (18625)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:07am - health - by masterdisaster (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46357) - you deserved it (37968)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59124) - you deserved it (9388)

On 04/07/2009 at 3:08am - love - by no_leather_of_any_kind - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and he brushed my hair out of my eyes. Then he smiled and said "Your eyes are two different colors right now. One's blue, one's green..." I was so happy he still noticed the little things. Then he finished his sentence with "...ya know, like a dog." FML


I agree, your life sucks (58705) - you deserved it (5612)

On 04/03/2009 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57032) - you deserved it (17740)

On 03/30/2009 at 5:44pm - misc - by talkssuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work at Panera. A blind woman came in, ordered and said other blind people were going to come in soon, because they were having a meeting. Later, a man comes in and ask if any other blind people had showed up. I told him there was just one in here wearing a blue shirt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19898) - you deserved it (88798)

On 03/30/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by superstar (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67856) - you deserved it (24946)

On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML


I agree, your life sucks (17194) - you deserved it (144091)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML


I agree, your life sucks (87130) - you deserved it (17361)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55608) - you deserved it (7140)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML


I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (72607)

On 03/26/2009 at 11:42am - kids - by CaoNiMa (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

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