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Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45553) - you deserved it (13617)
On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60996) - you deserved it (7592)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (12271)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (4373)
On 03/28/2011 at 10:22pm - misc - by -_- - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47597) - you deserved it (21395)
On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (4281)
Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13535) - you deserved it (41011)
On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43964) - you deserved it (37520)
On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (4935)
On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57616) - you deserved it (4265)
On 06/02/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (3036)
On 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60202) - you deserved it (13186)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36339) - you deserved it (11266)
On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (203436) - you deserved it (59400)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23689) - you deserved it (3158)
On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by iwantpizza69 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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