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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (6253)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (2669)
On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28393) - you deserved it (4962)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Ima_Moronski - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (1893)
On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22310) - you deserved it (8605)
On 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm - misc - by youjustsuck (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get in a random car and leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22634) - you deserved it (2679)
On 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm - money - by tim12345 - United States
Today, yep, pubic hair is still flammable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (41665)
On 07/25/2011 at 11:12am - health - by Smokey9 - United States (Florida)
Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (6347)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, I went to my friend's house because his family was having a move away party for him. Everything was going good until his dad decided to give a toast. Including an anecdote about how he walked in on us watching porn together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (6706)
On 07/25/2011 at 2:43am - intimacy - by best_friend - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (20115)
On 07/25/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by handyman13 - United States
Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30672) - you deserved it (2311)
On 07/25/2011 at 12:14am - health - by sisi9999 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8737) - you deserved it (27782)
On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States
Today, it was hot out, so I opted to stay cool and wear my bathing suit all day. My mom took it as me rubbing in the fact that I'm thinner than her and grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (3784)
On 07/24/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (1630)
On 07/24/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by painful (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (2539)
On 07/24/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Username - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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