Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Squander

Search for a member

Squander

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 September 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1821
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squander : AND NOW MY PICTURE IS ACTUALLY ME!
Except the Sunny is still there, because I love the sunny :)

FAVORITE THINGS:
Smiley faces, heavy metal music, candy, colouring, people, worms, wiggly worms, sex, mermaids, drawing pictures, singing, disney movies, cooking, red lipstick, dresses, birthdays, foreign languages, astronomy, fish, makeup, wikipedia, learning & pondering.

-More stuff about me-
I memorize dates like a real machine.
I liken my love life to a Disney movie by day, a porno by night.
I love wiggly worms. Get 'em at Dollarama. They're adorable.
I'm the weirdest thing, but people can't help but be drawn to me.
I love most things.

Squander's page activity

Visits<b>masschris</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:29pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:26pm<b>plebs_everywhere</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 12:32pm<b>oldskoolfun</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:57pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 5:31am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 7:39pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 1:59pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:32pm<b>ForGodAndMusic</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:19pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:26am<b>Zyssii</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 1:30am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 12:20am<b>Eddie2157</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:50pm<b>xXsnowbreezeXx</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:06pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 11:54pm<b>Stxsyh</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 2:22pm

Fucked!<b>masschris</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 9:29pm<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:32am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:13pm

Squander's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Squander's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12314) - you deserved it (22864)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15206) - you deserved it (36701)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

#13761908
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9585) - you deserved it (24622)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41821) - you deserved it (3839)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9955) - you deserved it (36601)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (8293)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23107) - you deserved it (2736)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (2929)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (8927)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (36981)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (4363)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: