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Squander

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Squander
  • Town/Country : Squanderland, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 September 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 903
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Squander : AND NOW MY PICTURE IS ACTUALLY ME!
Except the Sunny is still there, because I love the sunny :)

FAVORITE THINGS:
Smiley faces, heavy metal music, candy, colouring, people, worms, wiggly worms, sex, mermaids, drawing pictures, singing, disney movies, cooking, red lipstick, dresses, birthdays, foreign languages, astronomy, fish, makeup, wikipedia, learning & pondering.

-More stuff about me-
I memorize dates like a real machine.
I liken my love life to a Disney movie by day, a porno by night.
I love wiggly worms. Get 'em at Dollarama. They're adorable.
I'm the weirdest thing, but people can't help but be drawn to me.
I love most things.

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Squander's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML

#17675561 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (7467) - you deserved it (12074)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm - intimacy - by Username (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (19709) - you deserved it (1583)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML

#13997572 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (9837) - you deserved it (21982)

On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)

Today, when I signed into Amazon, their top recommendation for me based on past purchases was "The Brave Little Toaster" on DVD. FML

#13761908 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (5254) - you deserved it (13577)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by lambxox - United States

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (28631) - you deserved it (2429)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I applied for a job and sent my CV, then realised I sent the example CV I got off the internet. Now they think Bob Brown who lives at 123 Sunshine Street is applying for a job. FML

#12261661 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (6193) - you deserved it (22745)

On 08/02/2010 at 5:50am - work - by Julia (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my family and I went to the coast. Our dog was off the leash because we were the only people around. He was delighted to find a dead seal carcass and roll around in its remains. We then had a 3 hour drive home. FML

#11822589 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (18931) - you deserved it (5681)

On 07/12/2010 at 1:38am - animals - by LexiBoBexi (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

#9184901 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (42939) - you deserved it (4389)

On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (13911) - you deserved it (1613)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (25177) - you deserved it (1805)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

#7211272 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18364) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (23780)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (21793) - you deserved it (2926)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)