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Sprezlaus

Offline (the 02/13/2014 at 10:27am) | Search for a member

Sprezlaus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1328
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sprezlaus's page activity

Visits<b>acidbase</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 1:33am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 1:04pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 11:25am<b>Tiwuz</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 10:55am<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/20/2012 at 4:59pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:08pm<b>sonyuhshidae</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 6:25pm<b>gawdcomplex</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 6:50pm<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 12:20am<b>Octal</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 6:41am<b>Hazardsoflove</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 9:50am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>Lady_Bee</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 6:36am<b>awesomerobotbee</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 4:53am<b>gfonz</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 3:47am<b>corruptblackkat</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 8:02pm<b>kevin5890</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 11:54pm<b>bluebeard</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 3:37pm

Sprezlaus's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

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Sprezlaus's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21778) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

#19220268
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17996) - you deserved it (2150)

On 03/05/2012 at 11:36am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (52612) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (29436)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36351) - you deserved it (2650)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (4141)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I went to my overbearing mom's 57th birthday party. He opened his gift in front of her and said smugly, "The makeup's for your face, and the prayer book's for the fat rolls." Any hope of family peace is now lost. FML

#18414489
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21524) - you deserved it (3172)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:35pm - love - by bad blood, no shit (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (24072)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85144) - you deserved it (13062)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

#17411928
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24769) - you deserved it (2706)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (14192)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40202) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

#17371969
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54111) - you deserved it (2655)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by Thebestman123 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53156) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)



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