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Sprezlaus

Offline (the 02/13/2014 at 10:27am) | Search for a member

Sprezlaus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1511
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sprezlaus's page activity

Visits<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>acidbase</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 1:33am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 1:04pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 11:25am<b>Tiwuz</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 10:55am<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/20/2012 at 4:59pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:08pm<b>sonyuhshidae</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 6:25pm<b>gawdcomplex</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 6:50pm<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 12:20am<b>Octal</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 6:41am<b>Hazardsoflove</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 9:50am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>Lady_Bee</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 6:36am<b>awesomerobotbee</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 4:53am<b>gfonz</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 3:47am<b>corruptblackkat</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 8:02pm<b>kevin5890</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 11:54pm

Sprezlaus's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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Perfectionist

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See all of Sprezlaus's badges

Sprezlaus's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (1687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37292) - you deserved it (9190)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the beach with my boyfriend and family. My sister coyly pointed out the scratch marks down his back, hoping to embarrass me in front of my parents. The marks weren't from me. FML

#19873995
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (1918)

On 07/01/2012 at 12:22am - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6487) - you deserved it (46416)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

#19821696
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6646) - you deserved it (67301)

On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22882) - you deserved it (15174)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML

#19781749
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8401) - you deserved it (105164)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31009) - you deserved it (3057)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7195) - you deserved it (29770)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (2356)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47313) - you deserved it (4382)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29279) - you deserved it (4699)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18612) - you deserved it (4270)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31467) - you deserved it (2660)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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