Sprezlaus

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Offline (the 02/13/2014 at 10:27am)

Sprezlaus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2140
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sprezlaus's page activity

Visits<b>colton_colton</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>acidbase</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 1:33am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 1:04pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 11:25am<b>Tiwuz</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 10:55am<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/20/2012 at 4:59pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:08pm<b>sonyuhshidae</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 6:25pm<b>gawdcomplex</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 6:50pm<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 12:20am<b>Octal</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 6:41am<b>Hazardsoflove</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 9:50am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>Lady_Bee</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 6:36am<b>awesomerobotbee</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 4:53am<b>gfonz</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 3:47am<b>corruptblackkat</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 8:02pm<b>kevin5890</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 11:54pm

Sprezlaus's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Perfectionist

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Sprezlaus's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

by rarara / 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

by LonelyMe / 10/30/2012 at 9:27am / Love

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML

by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

by sozzy / 07/07/2012 at 3:26am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous