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Sprezlaus

Offline (the 02/13/2014 at 10:27am) | Search for a member

Sprezlaus

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1360
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sprezlaus's page activity

Visits<b>acidbase</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 1:33am<b>crimsonlover4</b> - the 01/03/2013 at 1:04pm<b>trqskq</b> - the 09/05/2012 at 11:25am<b>Tiwuz</b> - the 08/29/2012 at 10:55am<b>EconomicCrisis</b> - the 02/20/2012 at 4:59pm<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:08pm<b>sonyuhshidae</b> - the 11/15/2011 at 6:25pm<b>gawdcomplex</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 6:50pm<b>KirstyDragon</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 12:20am<b>Octal</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 6:41am<b>Hazardsoflove</b> - the 09/12/2011 at 9:50am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>Lady_Bee</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 6:36am<b>awesomerobotbee</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 4:53am<b>gfonz</b> - the 08/08/2011 at 3:47am<b>corruptblackkat</b> - the 07/31/2011 at 8:02pm<b>kevin5890</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 11:54pm<b>bluebeard</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 3:37pm

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Sprezlaus's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (2536)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10346) - you deserved it (70088)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26770) - you deserved it (2801)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10210) - you deserved it (40543)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59367) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML

#20043524
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (1946)

On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31928) - you deserved it (1435)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

#20011526
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (5923)

On 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by mary - United Kingdom

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26941) - you deserved it (5661)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

#19960444
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6022) - you deserved it (35798)

On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10698) - you deserved it (36796)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39659) - you deserved it (1836)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house and caught her digging for gold. She wasn't picking her nose - she was literally trying to dig for gold in her backyard. FML

#19926554
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:03am - love - by anidiotskeeper (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21969) - you deserved it (6216)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)



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