About Speshelphreak : Fml makes me feel that my life isn't so bad. Not in the sense that other people's misfortune makes me happy but to know that life could suck a lot more than it does.
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Speshelphreak's favorite FMLs
by SydIsPrettyCool / 08/04/2011 at 1:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML
by Sadman / 04/23/2011 at 4:37am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML
by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy
Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML
by Cheated / 08/03/2010 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML
by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML
by KillahCam / 01/25/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
by obsessed / 11/27/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML
by SpeakerPhone / 11/14/2009 at 12:31pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2009 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by bigdawg702 / 09/26/2009 at 1:34am / United States / Love
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…