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Offline (the 05/18/2016 at 4:58pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8225
  • Number of comments : 768
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soloman212 : I've discovered that taking a hit of heroin into my left pupil allows me to type and read for a short while so I make use of such time lurking FML and posting comments. My life doesn't suck so I don't post any FML's. Being a baboon is so much betyjdyjko gdmlu lqrbd

Soloman212's page activity

Visits<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Jpav1</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 4:52pm<b>AAHHHHH</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 2:08am<b>2simz</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 7:38am<b>Aang558811</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 2:21pm<b>Ginger_Love</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 12:40am<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:08pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 2:29pm<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 5:33pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 10:37am<b>Welshite</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 1:47pm<b>callcopse</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 1:05pm<b>plsdonthateme</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 11:51pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 12:25am<b>Jivesliven</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:23am<b>bullshitspanish</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:39pm

Fucked!<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 9:22pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 10:47pm<b>concon4815</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 3:37am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:47am<b>apineapple</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 9:03pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:10pm<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:58pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:48pm<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:54am

Soloman212's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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Soloman212's favorite FMLs

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

by unwilling redneck / 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy

Today, my aunt drove to my house and screamed at me for skateboarding in her driveway and denting her car. She then ransacked my room for said skateboard so she could break it in half. My aunt lives 4 hours away. I don't own a skateboard. FML

by Dalistair / 05/23/2013 at 7:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

by LightsOut / 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

by Devin / 05/19/2013 at 1:26am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

by JACKxRAWR / 05/18/2013 at 5:41am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

by paging dr. kevorkian / 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm / Netherlands / Love