Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6397
  • Number of comments : 756
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Soloman212 : I've discovered that taking a hit of heroin into my left pupil allows me to type and read for a short while so I make use of such time lurking FML and posting comments. My life doesn't suck so I don't post any FML's. Being a baboon is so much betyjdyjko gdmlu lqrbd

Soloman212's page activity

Visits<b>copelongcut3</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:58pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 6:56am<b>Rskittles10</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:20pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 1:25am<b>a816090</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:32am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 8:45pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 9:26am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:36pm<b>TacoPeps</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 2:36am<b>Sahmael</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:18pm<b>leogachi</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 9:06pm<b>lmfao789</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 7:23pm<b>Myo</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 3:57pm<b>cjl1028</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:59pm<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:57pm<b>Ice_Cold_Llama</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:37pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 2:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 1:53pm

Fucked!<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 8:58pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 2:59pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:48pm<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:54am

Soloman212's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Soloman212's badges

Soloman212's favorite FMLs

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48155) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm - health - by sashimi9999 - United States (California)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML


I agree, your life sucks (48405) - you deserved it (7565)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (49689) - you deserved it (9220)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63275) - you deserved it (4629)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47146) - you deserved it (4519)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (8312) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (67272) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (8220)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48148) - you deserved it (25527)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (4480)

On 12/27/2013 at 9:01am - work - by Hungry (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, we got our Christmas bonuses. Instead of money, the company decided to give us all lunch boxes with the company name on them. I went ahead and put my lunch in mine, then put it in the break-room refrigerator. Apparently so did all the other employees. Now I can't find mine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (8895)

On 12/25/2013 at 1:38am - work - by peevedemployee - United States

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42919) - you deserved it (11458)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41312) - you deserved it (4179)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: