About Solarfaze : This random person that likes video games and hugs.
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Solarfaze's favorite FMLs
by anon / 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm / Ireland / Intimacy
by itsemilyc / 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by graciegold95 / 12/06/2014 at 11:10am / United States (California) / Work
Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML
by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML
by Michelle / 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by sting / 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Animals
by hh / 12/05/2014 at 4:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love
Today, I woke up feeling awful and decided to make myself a nice egg omelette with bacon, toast and fresh fruit. As I went to eat it, I stubbed my toe and dropped it all on the floor. My dogs were very happy about that. FML
by Dani / 12/05/2014 at 4:00pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML
by quickit / 12/05/2014 at 12:14pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
by anon / 12/05/2014 at 10:44am / United States (Texas) / Work
by has an old monitor / 12/05/2014 at 9:00am / Germany (Berlin) / Geek
by Anonymous / 12/05/2014 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad texted me saying he had "big news." I immediately called, thrilled, because I assumed he meant that he finally found a job and that our money troubles were over. The "big news" was him being excited at seeing an actor from one TV show he likes in another TV show. FML
by still poor / 12/05/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…