Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Sofa_King

Search for a member

Sofa_King
  • Town/Country : European Union
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 24 February 1988 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 22533
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Sofa_King : Handsome lad going by the name of Matthew

Sofa_King's last visitors

XxOtakuDemonxXneonvortexNotAPrincesswhy_teh_hellmariepastyglueraesos91ThieviusFreeze

Sofa_King's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Sofa_King's favorite FMLs

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9022) - you deserved it (37716)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68003) - you deserved it (4068)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45383) - you deserved it (4544)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my tennis coach showed up to practice in an all white outfit. I exclaimed, "You're looking very white today!" He's African American. FML

#19641
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8422) - you deserved it (37075)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:59am - misc - by Tennisplayer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

#19635
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29055) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:58am - misc - by neversayhiagain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10337) - you deserved it (51541)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

#3882
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6165) - you deserved it (36057)

On 01/30/2009 at 7:49pm - animals - by jf29 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML

#2397
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5802) - you deserved it (24469)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:27pm - love - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

#2349
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (7250)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by Sleep Walking - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5647) - you deserved it (16092)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

#1008
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10947) - you deserved it (8313)

On 01/12/2009 at 3:34pm - work - by Leaving Early Fail - United States (California)

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6454) - you deserved it (25291)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

#767
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (5593)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you deserved it (34571)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: