About Snookie85 : With the man of my dreams after 20 years :) I am a mother of 2 wonderful children, my daughter who is 21 and has my first grandson, almost 1, and my son who is almost 18.
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Snookie85's favorite FMLs
Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML
by Daralea / 09/28/2011 at 1:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by yeahhhhhommmie / 09/18/2011 at 5:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by RebekahBrooke / 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm / United States / Work
by Help / 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by ouch / 09/16/2011 at 1:21am / United States / Health
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
by MrTandy / 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
by Cooper491 / 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
by poop towel / 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Hreyes / 09/15/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML
by dmvfail / 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by Godsfavourite / 09/14/2011 at 1:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I looked out my window to see the sunset, but instead I see my neighbor dancing with strobe… Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that…