About Snookie85 : With the man of my dreams after 20 years :) I am a mother of 2 wonderful children, my daughter who is 21 and has my first grandson, almost 1, and my son who is almost 18.
Snookie85's FML badges
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Snookie85's favorite FMLs
Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML
by Daralea / 09/28/2011 at 1:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML
by DeadScared / 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by yeahhhhhommmie / 09/18/2011 at 5:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by RebekahBrooke / 09/17/2011 at 1:13pm / United States / Work
by Help / 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by ouch / 09/16/2011 at 1:21am / United States / Health
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
by MrTandy / 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
by Cooper491 / 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML
by poop towel / 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Hreyes / 09/15/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML
by dmvfail / 09/14/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation
by Godsfavourite / 09/14/2011 at 1:42am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
by aru9 / 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous